hello, it’s me, “Mr Regular Blogger” with this week’s bi-annual update of the last two months occurrences.

So, en vacances dans aout pour tres semaines. First port of call, down to Devon for two weddings on consecutive days. (Hold on, I need to go and kick the washing machine to stop the bleeping). So, as I was saying, went to the first wedding on Friday, died from a Man Cold and irritated IBS on Saturday and then flew from Exeter to Edinburgh on Sunday. Edinburgh was alright and certainly better than last year as I went without any books or expectations but to see some stuff and to be away from where I am normally. I did miss the supermarket, though…like a nail bomb going off in my small bowel.

Went to some of the dirtiest bars in the city and learnt not to pretend to be Scottish,
in the first one. Despite having a cold throughout the duration o fthe three weeks off I continued to play hard and make the most of being in my favourite City during the month of the year when it is artistically plugged into a million volt socket. Although the majority of a lot of the many venues do not appear to get many of the volts through…Ooh, look at me – bitchy reviewer!

So I saw plenty of comedy that actually was funny, but you have to pay for it. Also saw a piece of physical theatre called “Dear Theo” about artists’ survival and letters between Van Gogh and his brother Theo, I think. But I’m not entirely sure (which is no reflection on the play) but i had to dip out for a crap, half way through and so I think I might have missed some crucial bits. Anyway, so I left feeling confused, lighter and moderately cultured.

I saw other bits but I can’t be bothered to mention them. I’m not fucking TIMEOUT. I did one of my best received sets at a venue called the Bongo Club on the last night. And was accosted by two reasonably fit American Ladies afterwards who, despite being married, basically wanted a bit of me. “Georgie’s Doggerell – COME ON LADIES!”

Right, where can you se mee next? I hear you scream whilst lobbing pairs of knickers at my head…Well:

On Tuesday 14th October (next Tues)

@The Green Note Club, Camden, North London
£2 before 7:30pm a Lady Godiva (£iver) after

(A fine looking line-up and the re-locating party of “Utter” hosted by Richard Tyrone Jones).

………………………………………………

On Friday 14th November

@ The Royal Seven Stars, Totnes, Devon (bottom of the Street)

part of the “Wondermentalist Cabaret” hosted by (Radio 4 regular) Matt Harvey

(a line-up well worth making the journey for).

…………………………………………….

On Thursday 27th November

@The Thunderbolt, Totterdown, Bristol

John Hegley, Tony Curtis (possibly) and Me (definitely)

(tell your Bristolian friends about this one, please, otherwise I fear it might be to an audience of local death metallers only..)

Also I’m planning on doing a couple of other things up in London, one in Finchley and the other in Kings Cross. Dates to be confirmed bu tin the next couple of Months.

And that’s it for now as I’ve got to go and serve sausages and mash to millions.

Bye,

GC x

Morning, it’s me, George, again.
Been a while. Hope you’re all fine.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome – NOT a laughing matter. The confirmed, yet still only suspected diagnosis of the condition (that has caused me to feel so sporadically unwell over the past 6 months) was made on Tuesday by a lovely Doctor by the name of Chung. She was very warm and calming in her address and whole demeanour in fact. Like many of the many doctors I have had the pleasure, yet misfortune of meeting, she was good. She felt a part of my lower abdomen at which point I yelped and then whilst I pulled down and tucked in my t-shirt we talked and she asked me how I found my job. But then she asked whether I actually liked it. I nearly cried. But I didn’t until I was un-locking my racer from the drain-pipe outside the surgery; because I’m a real man. Real.
It is time to move on and people keep promising that it will not be forever and that “great things wait for George on the horizon” and possibly even a job that will pay more than four and a half loaves of Warburtons thin sliced an hour and will even give some form of satisfaction. Not utter boredom combined with frustration, anger, bitterness, self hatred and that of everyone surrounding, but of actual satisfaction and the feeling of not being abused and taken advantage of.

Got to have faith in one’s ability to be able to…
…forge a CV that makes it look like I haven’t had 27 jobs in the space of nine years and that all the volunteered referees are family members; the ones that I haven’t worked for, of course.

The cloud is clearing. I’m not going to let the £84 T-Mobile bill upset me anymore. I’m not going to let those cunts at the SUPERmarket upset me anymore. I’m not going to let the fact that i spent half my last day off, descaling the bottom of the rancid mould fucking shower with caustic shit and crystal soda cream cleanser only for fellow housemates to still shed pubes. I’m going to find someone who deals good resin and tranquillisers.

But for now, I’m going to finish my drink and go to bed.
good bye and speak to you sooner than last time.

P.S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qr2Lp-Ahgc

love, George

hello,
this is the next thing i’m doing in london.
hope you can come.
cheerio,
george x

http://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/events/696919/joke_and_spoken_word_night.html

Evening all,
Hope this finds you well.
Firstly, a poem:

Bleached /Blonde Dogs

Just outside the canteen fire exit
smoking on the path.
Trying to block out the husky guffaw of
Maggie from Bakery
and the illiterate shrieks
from the girls off check-outs.
All of them, stood slunched
in a military line-up,
sheltering behind the pillars
from the gust coming off the roundabout.

Yellow butts and scrunched coffee cups
litter the concrete path,
just off which, stand a cluster of heads
of dew drenched, snow white Snow Drops
- swaying in the breeze on their elf green stems.
Seven of them.
Dwarfed by the bushes, plants and trees
through which I see’d,
approaching the roundabout, a white van
with written on the side:
“Dial a Dog Wash”.

__________________________

Here’s the link to my first review. No idea whether it’ll work but please try clicking on it:

http://www.dailyinfo.co.uk/reviews/feature/2806/Oxfringe

Now for a few new Haiku:

Mother’s Day

Clambering over
garden wall. Daffodils clenched.
It’s the thought that counts.

12 Words Worth

On the 12th of March
Snow Drops heads’ shrivel up but
Daffodils flourish.

Poetry in Lotion

When I run out of
aqueous emollient,
Goose fat suffices.

_____________________

Right then, off to bed in a minutes but first, here are a few dates for your diary of when I’m performing next. So:

Tomorrow night (Friday 7th)

At: The Albany, Douglas Way, Deptford, SE8 4AG.
The event is called: “The Book Bites Back” . There will be about four other performers incl. Daljit Nagra who wrote “Look We Have Coming to Dover”.
K.O. 8pm

Easter Monday (24th March)

At: The Poetry Cafe, Betterton Street, Covent Garden.
Supporting John Hegley (T.B.C. so please check Time-Out London closer to the time for details…)

Saturday 29th March

At: The Port Mahon, St Clements, Oxford.
The event is called: “Minty Fresh”. (Christ knows why).
Part of Oxfringe; a comedy line-up of me and two others.
K.O. 8pm – £4 .


So there you have it. Hope you or some of your London/Oxford dwelling chums can get to one of them.
Cheers for reading and see you anon!
Goodnight.
Yours,
George

Good evening worthy followers,

Hope the weekend treated you all well and that unlike me, none of your genitals have dropped off as a result of frost-bite.

Cockless ‘Ku
Directing one’s wee
now proves tricky. So I just
release, hope and pray.

…Not exactly Keats. But if I’m honest, it was a bit of an after thought, really. Didn’t take many days to construct.

So, firstly (or secondly) my apologies for not posting for sometime. You must all feel lost. Directionless. Empty. Georgeless. But in my defence, I did spend a fair bit of time over the last week
adding bits to a blog as I felt (inspired?) the need. But technical problems pervailed meaning the lot wiped and so I gave up, have sulked and sworn since not to bother with this damn blogging lark ever again. But I’ve since picked myself up and decided to blog-on regardless.

Um, secondly (or thirdly) a huge thanks to all of you, regular readers (all three of you) and others, for the support with viewing and forwarding on of my You Tube link. 281 views, three comments and one potential stalker in just 6 days since it was first up-loaded. Secondly (thirdly or fourthly) a gigantically massive thank you to Richard Butchins who took the time to come along and record me at The Wheatsheaf and for then editing and helping me post it. Richard has several blogs (links from) “Angelsstandcorrected” accessible by clicking on link down the right hand side of my page. He has been working for the last 18 months on a documentary film entitled “American Freak Show”. Check out the trailer – amusing and touching and has had much interest shown by the National Press and Bafta, even!

Thirdly, (fourthly or fifthly?) thank you Xander for aiding me recently in my sorry financial state. I thoroughly enjoyed the tin-foiled hot cross buns;- kept ‘em pretty damn fresh, they were lovely toasted! However, the garlic butter didn’t do them much justice. Certainly taught me not to steal, mind.

And as for last night; the lamb was delicious, the sloe gin, superb! A fine evening; thank you both.

Now for the arse flogging: Hard to beleive, I know, but I (George Chopping) have actually reached a point in my life where I might even have to start keeping a diary! Typically, the last few weeks (proceeding my filling out of my holiday leave form from the shelves) was the start of people starting to take an interest and beginning to invite me to come and perform in places, all over the world…
…or (East) Oxford even. Here are some dates:

DATE ,WHAT and WHERE?
Mon 25th Feb – (part of a comedy line-up) Launch Party for OxFringe. – Oxford Castle, Hythe Bridge Street, OXFORD. Details to follow.

Fri 7th Mar – Apple & Snakes presents: “The Book Bites Back” Celebrating World Book Day. (Three poets and me).

At: The Albany, Douglas Way, Deptford, LONDON, SE8 4AG.

…and that’s it until the next time. I need to wash, eat and get this posted before it deletes. I shall post further dates next time.

Aha! Actually, before I go, I mentioned before, the Radio 4 programme that Xander co-researched, “The Museum of Curiosity” featuring John Lloyd (producer of “Spitting Image”, “Blackadder”, “Not the Nine O’clock News…etc”) and the genius comedian, Bill Bailey (“Black Books” blabla.) A great concept involving Profs and comics…And, well, listen and see for yourself. First broadcast is at 18:30 on Wednes. Immediately accessible to listen to on the web, the second the show finishes.

Right, have a good week. I’m off to read a book on grammar and comma abuse.
Goodnight,
g